A Question of Identity

...and so it occurred to me today that I don't really know what it is that motivates me in life other than a vague quest for validation... but then isn't that what everybody is seeking? Perhaps the human condition is nothing more than the search for personal affirmation. Of course people find all manner of ways to satisfy their need for an identity of importance. To indulge oneself (by gluttony, greed, etc.) is to declare, "look, I'm worth it!" and such indulgence provides a short term sense of validation. Of course asceticism is just as much a way to validate oneself, essentially as saying, "I've overcome the need for material possessions (aren't I great?)!"

Well, I'll think I'll be contemplating this further but for now I'll be going to bed...

For the sake of saying something

So it's been a little while since my last entry...the term is over and it's Christmas break. I think this will be the first time I won't be home for Christmas. Kinda strange to think about it but it's nothing too extraordinary I suppose.

On a different note, I was just thinking about how Xanga isn't quite like a proper weblog...it really needs RSS feed and external comments...the more I think about it, the more I prefer Blogger...

Blogged Down

Actually I only really have two blogs and I've just been copying and pasting so they're essentially identical. Nevertheless it seems cumbersome, perhaps even more so because they're copies, to have multiple blogs. On the one hand I like xanga because of some of the nifty features (like the listening to etc feature), but on the other hand it's kind of annoying how it has some other features (like you can't post comments unless you have a xanga blog, which doesn't do much for people who don't xanga but already have some other blog...). And though xanga is free, it doesn't give too many features or flexibility unless you pay extra. Blogger is kind of cool in that it's really customizable with templates and stuff, plus you can pull blogs using a newsreader. The xanga subscription thing is still pretty handy though. Anyway, I don't know why I'm rambling about this since I'm not actually trying to make any sort of point about either site. Just random thoughts. I'm done now.

here's my other blog, for random interest's sake http://www.xanga.com/Dalwan/

Sight of Day

mmmmm... I think things may be looking up...

In life, Pain is Inevitable but Misery is Optional

Chance and circumstance. It sounds like the title for a Jane Austen novel but it's not. It is life. Life is unpredictable, a matter of chance and circumstance. We cannot choose whether there is sun or rain or snow. There is nothing that anybody can do to control the winds of chance.

But character is not a matter of chance and circumstance, it is a matter of choice and conviction.

You can choose to grow as an oak or a tumbleweed, to build your life on shifting sands or on solid bedrock, to suffer in darkness or to light a flame.

---

I think I've come to a point in my seasonally effected depression (of seasonal affective disorder) where I'm just entirely tired of being tired. It's frustrating to sleep for 9+ hours and still feel like I ought to be in bed (or sleep for fewer hours and feel like I ought to be comatose). My head aches like I'm wearing a hat that's too small and I always forget meals (the making part and the eating part equally). Somehow winter is always an extreme hardship.

And I'm not going to stand (nor sit) for it! I don't yet know what, but I'm definitely going to do something.

"You Choose"

"You are what you choose to be." - (from The Iron Giant)

...if you choose nothing, you become nothing...your direction determines your destination...

...fearfully and wonderfully made, formed from the depths, designed with a purpose; this is man, made in the image of a divine Creator... with the free-will to choose and pave destiny according to wisdom or foolishness, man is either blessed or cursed...and that is yet another choice.

Bleaugh!

I feel pretty miserable right now, kind of nauseated with a headache and I've been tired all day. It feels like the entire day has just been some sort of dream that is hard to remember the details of. Maybe I'm not getting enough iron or iodine or something in my diet. Come to think of it, I did have a frappuccino last night since the WWC Village club was giving away Starbucks cards. Maybe the caffeine made things worse than usual. (Although the green tea frappuccino is pretty good...like fruity green tea...)

Oh, it snowed today. That is a good thing. I like snow. Snow is also good for snowboarding. I also like snowboarding. I'm looking forward to reintroducing my snowboard to the snow.